instrumental damage

just a friendly word of advice to all tambourine manufacturers or those considering diving into the profession - it wouldnt hurt if you could possibly put some kind of warning on your instruments, something like, oh i dont know...'WARNING; THIS BRIGHT AND SEDUCTIVE INSTRUMENT MAY CAUSE SEVERE BRUISING TO PARTS OF YOUR BODY IF STRUCK RAPIDLY AND JOYOUSLY AGAINST IT' or simply 'NOT RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF BODY NUMBING SUBSTANCES; IS LIKELY TO CAUSE PAINFUL DAMAGE AND/OR SKIN DISCOLOURATION AS A RESULT OF BRUISING'...or perhaps 'WARNING; JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE POSSESSION OF THIS INSTRUMENT DOES NOT MAKE YOU ONE OF THE BANGLES! PLEASE USE IT WISELY - AVOID STRIKING YOUR HIP, THIGH, BUTTOCKS AND OTHER HAND REPEATEDLY AND FEROCIOUSLY FOR ANY EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME'
oh and you chu hi makers...well you should DEFINITELY be putting some kinda warning on your cans. you must be very aware by now that your product turns brains to paper.