j j junkie

i have often been dubbed a crack whore, as a term of endearment in much the same way that i entitle my own mummy a mama san (the brains beyond the whole seedy operation)

but i had never been open enough to fully accept the reality of this title...until now

it dawned on me whilst resting on one of my favourite thinking places - the dunny...that i have been harbouring this addiction for well over a decade and whats more it seems to be worsening rather than dissipating

it all started in a poorly lit, badly ventilated, carpeted squared side wing of the first university i attended, some mates in my class had told me about  the adventures and the highs that i would encounter, it wasnt long before i was trying it for the first time

in the early days it was a real group thing, it was fresh it was new and mostly came in small doses... but things changed the more i got the more i wanted, as things changed and grew and my paypacket increased it made it even easier for me to access - i am ashamed to admit that in the beginning i even took out a student loan to fund my obsession

these days i am on it every day, much of the old group has dispersed and i now find myself doing it alone most nights, on the weekends i indulge day and night - sure my mates and loved ones know about it, its no big secret - they accept me for who i am
im sure they often wonder why and wish i was spending my time more wisely and some probably worry about me alot...but i cant help it

its true
THE INTERNET is my crack
and i am its girl-who-works-for -a-mama-san

ps i saw a cute tshirt that had 'crack whore' scribbled on it in one of my fav shops in shinjuku today...unfortunately it cost 12 600 yen